Being treated as a doormat is predominantly being treated unfairly by others for their own benefit especially, when all you are trying to do is be kind or help them. How do you go about being kind and compassionate without being used? How do you make people stop treating you like a doormat? Here are a few tips on how to prevent being treated like a doormat:
Never do anything for someone because you feel bad for them
Generally, people who are nice and helpful to others tend to go above and beyond to make sure that they can just make everybody around them really happy and satisfied. Most the time, no one else is really there for them. Sometimes when you dig deep into reasons why they do that, they’re just like well, ‘if I don’t do it, probably nobody else will’. They feel bad for this person that they’re offering themselves to and so they constantly find themselves in a space where, they can’t say no and they’re always available to this person. If you don’t learn to hold back, you will never have time to do things that matter; things that will develop you, make you happier, a good investment of your time. You will have no time because you’re always going to be thinking about; how do I make this other person happy, i feel bad for them, who is going to help them. The question I want you to ask yourself is, if you were not here today, let’s say you die tomorrow, how would this person survive? What would they do to keep their lives going? Would it be surprising if I told you that they will survive perfectly without you?Never think you’re indispensable. We’re all dispensable. We are all going to die at some point .Every day you live; you die a little bit more. I’m just saying never do things for people because you feel bad for them. Do it for them because you want to and if you don’t want to, make it clear. When someone is trying to get you to do something, consider how that request is making you feel .If you realize that you’re not in a good space, you don’t really want to do it but you’re only doing it because you feel bad for them or you feel bad that you’re not able to assist them, then ignore that feeling and go with how you actually feel. Let them know you cannot help them at this time because you have other things to do, you’ll thank yourself for it.
Never do anything for anyone with an expectation attached.
Human beings are fallible. If you keep this in mind, you’ll never fully rely on anyone. The truth is, if push comes to shove, they will choose themselves over you and understandably so. I have learned that having less expectations of people and situations, brings less disappointments in your life. If the only reason why you’re helping someone is because you expect help in return, then do not do it. Because, most likely that help will never come or when it does or when you do find yourself in that rut , they will give you all the reasons why they cannot be there for you, as you’ve been there for them and that will just give you a lot of pain and agony and the list is endless. Expectations put people in very terrible and tight corners from where I sit and I feel like the less you expect from people, the happier you become. And remember this, there are some people in life, who will not help you or return the favor because they want to see you do good, but never better than them.
Embrace and love your social discomfort
What happens when you say no to someone who really wants their way, conflict most likely will arise. There are too many people who are uncomfortable with conflict. Sometimes, you just need to learn to say ‘no, I cannot do it’ and be comfortable with the discomfort that you will feel from having people think that you were not there for them. You’re not invincible; you are as fragile as the next person .You should be able to decide how you choose to apportion your time. In relationships, these things happen all the time; she’ll make a very inconsiderate request of you and you will feel obliged to do so because you’re in a relationship with them. I know it may be hard to say no to your girlfriend, husband or boyfriend but in the end, you need to learn to be comfortable with discomfort because discomfort, is a part of life and it’s OK to feel discomfort from time to time. If you do not take charge of your time and your energy and how you allocate your own personal resources, people will teach you how to use them.
Check out other things you need to do to prevent people from treating you like a doormat by clicking here or watching this video below.