When a woman isn’t serious about you, these six signs often become apparent. Understanding these signs can help you dodge major heartache and find someone who truly values you.

1: Lack of a Dopamine Bust

Dopamine is the “feel-good” chemical in our brains that motivates us to seek out pleasurable activities and people. When someone is genuinely interested in you, their brain releases dopamine, making them want to spend more time with you. A clear sign she’s not serious is if she’s constantly busy when you try to make plans. If she’s not making time for you, you’re not a priority.

Example: You text her on Monday asking to hang out this weekend. She replies, “Oh, I’d love to, but I’m just so swamped with work and plans with friends!” Yet, her Instagram stories are filled with brunches, movie nights, and trips to the beach. If she’s not making time for you, it’s a red flag.

A friend of mine, Jake, was constantly asking a girl out, only to be met with excuses about how busy she was. He noticed she had time for everything else but him. Eventually, Jake moved on and found someone who made him a priority. Respect your own time and move on if she’s not making an effort to see you.

 

2: Ambivalence

Ambivalence refers to having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about someone. In relationships, this means she feels both positive and negative emotions towards you, resulting in uncertainty and indecisiveness. This can manifest as being hot and cold or frequently canceling plans.

Example:You’ve had to reschedule your last three dates because something “came up” last minute. If she’s constantly canceling plans, she’s not prioritizing you. Communicate your feelings and let her know how her frequent cancellations make you feel. If she continues to cancel, it’s a sign to prioritize yourself.

 

 

3: Commitment Phobia

Avoiding future plans can indicate commitment phobia. When she’s not serious, she’ll avoid making any plans more than a week away. This includes avoiding discussions about holidays, future trips, or even next month’s activities.

Example: You suggest going to a concert in a month, and she responds with, “Let’s see when the time comes.” This vague answer is a way to keep her options open. If she’s hesitant to make future plans, it’s a sign she’s not considering a long-term relationship with you. Address it directly and ask why she’s hesitant. If her response is still non-committal, reassess the relationship.

 

 4. Surface Level Conversations

If all your conversations are about trivial things like how her day went, she’s not investing emotionally. Serious relationships involve deep conversations about dreams, fears, and personal histories.

Example: You bring up a meaningful topic like your future career plans or past relationships, and she changes the subject to something trivial. Keeping conversations surface level can be a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability and emotional intimacy.

Solution: Have an honest talk about the importance of emotional connection. If she’s not willing to engage, it’s time to move on.

 

5: She Doesn’t Introduce You to Her Friends or Family

A woman who’s serious about you will want you to meet her inner circle. If she’s keeping you a secret, she’s not thinking long-term.

Example: You’ve been seeing each other for a few months, but she dodges suggestions to meet her friends or join her family dinner. If she’s avoiding introducing you to her close ones, it’s a sign she’s not serious.

Solution: Bring it up in a conversation and explain that meeting friends and family is important to you. If she continues to avoid it, it’s time to move o

 

 6: She’s Not Curious About Your Life

When she’s genuinely interested, she’ll want to know more about you. If she’s not asking questions about your goals, family, or even how your day was, it’s a bad sign. A lack of curiosity shows she’s not invested in getting to know the real you.

Example:Every conversation revolves around her, and when you try to share something personal, she seems uninterested or changes the topic back to herself.

Solution: Shift the focus to mutual interests and see if she reciprocates. If she doesn’t show curiosity, it’s a sign to move on and find someone who values and is interested in you.

 

Conclusion

If you’re seeing these signs, it’s time to reevaluate where you stand. Remember, you deserve someone who’s just as serious about you as you are about them. Don’t settle for less than you deserve.

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