Marriage is something that’s on everyone’s calendar, at least for most people. Most people I know want to get hitched, want to have a nice family, just live a happy life, maybe with a car, a dog, and a beautiful house.
But what are the signs that you’re not ready to get married? Are there any?
Most people tell you that days or sometimes hours before they get married, they tend to second-guess themselves and wonder if they are actually doing the right thing.
You have a heads-up because I will share with you a couple of signs that will glaringly show that you are not ready to get hitched.
You have known your partner for just a short time
Maybe it’s been 2 months, three months, or even six months, and you and your partner have been having an absolutely amazing time – you see them, and your heart begins to beat a little faster; you’re in love, you think about them all the time.
This certainly means that you can tie the knot with them. Yes? Not really.
I say this not to say or debunk the fact that there are people who have got married six months, for instance, after meeting and don’t have successful relationships. Usually, you want to be sure that it’s not infatuation that you’re feeling, and nothing more than that.
How do you know it’s not infatuation?
Just give it a little time, and see if the way you felt on the first day, on the 2nd day, in the first week, or in the first month, is something that you continue to feel 1 year, maybe even 2 years, after your relationship has taken off.
I’m not saying that you’re going to continuously feel the way you felt from day one about your partner. What I am saying is that you want to be sure that it’s not just infatuation.
So what is infatuation?
It’s an intense but short-lived admiration or passion for someone or something, and what a lot of people don’t realise is usually what they initially feel about their partner, the reason why they would want to get hitched is infatuation, and not actually love and over time this intense feeling begins to dwindle very fast, and if you don’t take your time to really go through this one you might end up with a ring on your finger, and being very unhappy because you realise that you did not take your time to jump into this one.
If what you’re feeling is actually the real deal, the love will last and will give you a better perspective or opinion about this person you’re about to walk down the aisle with.
You’re uncomfortable sharing your deepest, darkest secrets
If you’re going to marry someone, I would want to believe that it should be through and through. You either drink deep, or not at all.
If this person you’re about to settle with isn’t someone you can confide in, and not feel as if you stood in the middle of a marketplace and shouted your secrets out loud to everybody’s hearing, then you might want to take your time a little, because this is something that you should be rushing into.
Trust in any relationship is a really big deal.
If you don’t feel like you can trust them with the things that really matter to you – with your darkest sides – then, what’s the point of jumping into a relationship like this.
Note: A healthy, loving marriage should be a relationship between two people who know each other’s secrets and still decide to get together, or stick together.
If you’re hiding something significant like a really bad past, like really huge debts and stuff like that, you could be starting your marriage on a very wrong foot.
You don’t fight well
By this, I mean that if your couple’s pattern of conflict resolution ends up in one person always giving in to the other, not necessarily because they’re happy or satisfied, but more to just move it along or bring peace, then I don’t think you’re really ready, because you see, when it comes to how you guys deal with the things that you deal, with the challenges that are thrown your way, it is always important that both of you feel as if you get heard.
Both of you’re able to sit down and discuss the issues that are causing conflict in your relationship and one doesn’t walk away feeling short-changed.
If one of you consistently gives in to the other, just so tempers don’t flare, or to bring peace in the relationship, it is going to breed resentment very quickly in this marriage that you’re about to embark on.
So if you don’t fight fair, if you don’t fight well, that is a big red flag that you may not be ready to tie the knot.
Do you want to know more about your readiness to get married, and how close you are? Watch the video below, and subscribe to my YouTube channel for more
If you have gone through this list, and you think you are ready for marriage, it’s time to have these money conversations.